2 Important Tips To Help Your Blended Family Be Successful
If you are about to enter into your second marriage and have kids, you will be joining two families into one, and this is called a blended family. Blended families often have issues that are not present in traditional family settings, but you can create a happy and healthy atmosphere by starting out on the right path. To do this, you may want to seek marriage counseling services or family counseling, or you may want to try following these tips.
Focus on Consistency From the Beginning
According to Good Therapy.org, approximately 66% of blended families that have kids do not last, and this is due to a number of different reasons. One of these reasons is because the family members must all transition from one type of lifestyle to another. While it takes time to transition, it is easier to do this when there are basic ground rules from the start.
To do this, you may want to work out the details before the marriage takes place, and this may include:
- Developing a list of rules – One way to focus on consistency in the household is to come up with a list of rules. Along with this, you may also want to develop a list of consequences, which will be the result of breaking the rules. You should have the attitude and mentality that all family members have the same rules and must abide by them. The consequences may need to be different for family members, primarily because of age differences.
- Creating a family mission statement – A family mission statement is a great thing to create too, as it will be the foundation of the atmosphere in the home. This statement should clearly reflect what you expect this household to be like, and it may help each family member feel more confident in this new setting.
- Determining the roles of each family member – Another good step to take is coming up with roles for each family member. This could include the chores each child will have, or the responsibilities of each person. When you show this to the entire family, everyone will realize that they serve an important role in the family, but be careful as you make it. You will want to make sure it appears fair to each person.
If you can set the right tone from the start of the marriage, it might be easier for everyone to work through this major transition in life.
Make It Clear That You and Your Spouse Are a Team
In blended families, it is quite common for kids to try to team up with their own parent. By doing this, they will try to tear down the bond between the two parents, and they are often successful with this.
As a parent, you and your spouse must join together as a team that cannot be broken. You must be unified, and the kids must know and see this. While it might seem backwards to you to put your marriage first, you must make the marriage a priority if you want the blended family to be happy and healthy.
This means that you and your spouse must have shared goals, visions, ideas, and desires. This also means that you make decisions together and you stick with them. When your children see that you are a team, they will eventually learn to respect you more, and you will be setting a good example for them to live by in the future.
If you are already in a blended family and are struggling with issues, you may want to seek help from a marriage counselor. You can do this alone or with your spouse, but you can also seek family counseling services for the entire family.